Today was a good 3 mile run with lots of changes from my usual MO.
1) I went into SW Portland in the area around Alpenrose Dairy with a friend. It was a different kind of run for me b/c this particular area is much 'hillier' than what I'm used to. Around my home where I usually run the hills are much more of rolling hills which gradually go up over about 1/2 mile or so, then gradually down over 1/2 mile or so. However, today's hills hills were fast & furious!!! UP UP UP followed by DOWN DOWN DOWN. I actually kind of liked the hills and was pleasantly surprised how they didn't seem particularly challenging. It was hard work, but only took a minute or so to climb, then they either went down or evened out. Also, being able to see the top of the hill was only 50 feet away rather than 1/4 mile really helped with my motivation to GET THERE!
2) Today's run was running with some friendly faces. I've never really liked running with other people b/c it always felt like there was more pressure to run faster AND chat at the same time... which I generally find to be extremely difficult and usually just burn myself out quicker and then feel embarrassed. However, my friend was pushing her toddler in the stroller while I just had myself, so we ended up running a nice easy pace!! (Lilah was home napping with Grandma watching over her - Thanks MOM!) It was a good thing my friend had her son in the stroller or I probably wouldn't have been able to keep up with her, but being sans Lilah allowed me to feel independent and powerful.
3) The last difference with today's run was that I had absolutely no idea where we were going and most of the time was completely lost and turned around. It was fun being in a new location where I didn't know where the mile markers were or how far we had run. It was like a little adventure around every turn :)
Somewhere between the hills, good conversation and constant adventure, the run really flew by. I could hardly believe we finished so quickly and when we looked at the clock, we had done the 3 miles in about 32 minutes - with stroller, hills and all :)
So, in conclusion:
Good adventurous run with good friend at nice pace with good conversation and non-threatening hills. YAY!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Week 3b, Day 2
Today was the first run I've skipped. Part of me says not to worry about it b/c this is technically Week 3 Part Deux anyway and I already did this last week. The other part of myself says I should have just gone out there and run the piddly 1.5 miles because I've now had 3 days of non-running in a row and this might snowball.
But I just couldn't do it... I was too tired.
Today we had our appointment with Lilah's Neurologist about her seizure 12 days ago. The appointment went well, but my motivation was squashed by some post-appointment burnout. I tend to build a lot of anxiety and pressure into the appointments with her Neurologist because we only see him twice a year... usually after a seizure. It's amazing how 45 minutes of asking/answering questions leaves me emotionally and physically drained.
He was very happy with her progress and development, but I still walked away from the appointment feeling queasy. I want him to say, "Lilah is going to grow out of this seizure crap and live a completely normal life. Her brain size will catch up with her peers and she'll be able to run, talk, read, tap dance, drive on her 16th birthday and drink on her 21st birthday. A regular education, college, marriage and children are all in her future." However, her Neurologist can't say that because there's no way to know what her future will hold. There's no way to know that about anyone - even the normal kids. But, I still wanted him to say it...
There is always a piece of my heart which thinks the seizure is killing her. The EMTs buzz busily around her and all I can do is watch helplessly... while my heart thinks my baby girl is dying in my arms. On four occasions now, my heart has gone into the precipice only to be pulled back from the edge of grief by my head's realization that she's going to be ok. The next morning she is typically herself again... smiling, playing and laughing. Conversly, it seems to take me much longer to recover .
In my head, I know we are very lucky. We have a little girl who has already faced death, battled disability and surpassed all medical expectations in her short little life of 20 months. We are lucky because we have a loving, beautiful and HAPPY little girl. Lucky because she only has a few measly seizures a few times a year. I find myself thinking about how lucky we really are...thinking about all the children who die every day either by accident or illness. All the children newly diagnosed with physical, mental and developmental conditions on a daily basis. I know my family is lucky because while none of us is promised tomorrow, we DO have one, and I know it will be filled with laughter and love.
I'll run my 3 miles tomorrow and I know my body will probably be a bit sore. Today, my head and my heart both needed a break.
But I just couldn't do it... I was too tired.
Today we had our appointment with Lilah's Neurologist about her seizure 12 days ago. The appointment went well, but my motivation was squashed by some post-appointment burnout. I tend to build a lot of anxiety and pressure into the appointments with her Neurologist because we only see him twice a year... usually after a seizure. It's amazing how 45 minutes of asking/answering questions leaves me emotionally and physically drained.
He was very happy with her progress and development, but I still walked away from the appointment feeling queasy. I want him to say, "Lilah is going to grow out of this seizure crap and live a completely normal life. Her brain size will catch up with her peers and she'll be able to run, talk, read, tap dance, drive on her 16th birthday and drink on her 21st birthday. A regular education, college, marriage and children are all in her future." However, her Neurologist can't say that because there's no way to know what her future will hold. There's no way to know that about anyone - even the normal kids. But, I still wanted him to say it...
There is always a piece of my heart which thinks the seizure is killing her. The EMTs buzz busily around her and all I can do is watch helplessly... while my heart thinks my baby girl is dying in my arms. On four occasions now, my heart has gone into the precipice only to be pulled back from the edge of grief by my head's realization that she's going to be ok. The next morning she is typically herself again... smiling, playing and laughing. Conversly, it seems to take me much longer to recover .
In my head, I know we are very lucky. We have a little girl who has already faced death, battled disability and surpassed all medical expectations in her short little life of 20 months. We are lucky because we have a loving, beautiful and HAPPY little girl. Lucky because she only has a few measly seizures a few times a year. I find myself thinking about how lucky we really are...thinking about all the children who die every day either by accident or illness. All the children newly diagnosed with physical, mental and developmental conditions on a daily basis. I know my family is lucky because while none of us is promised tomorrow, we DO have one, and I know it will be filled with laughter and love.
I'll run my 3 miles tomorrow and I know my body will probably be a bit sore. Today, my head and my heart both needed a break.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Week 3a, Day 7
Nothing much to write today. Once again, I did the rounds in Costco instead of actually 'walking' for 45 minutes. Went to a nice baby shower too :) That's all I gots for now. Until manana!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Week 3a, Day 6 - Charging the Hill
Today was a 3 mile run and I decided to go up by the Nike campus. It's a 1.5 mile straight shot up to Murray Blvd and again back again to make an even 3 miles. For some reason I always get a little intimidated by the hill up to Murray. According to Mapmyrun.com, it's only a 40 foot climb and doesn't actually count as a hill at all, but for some reason it really intimidates me! I've run up it probably 100 times and have conquered much larger and scarier hills, but this one always fills me with a little anxiety... Kind of like the ramp up from the water on the Vera Katz Esplanade in downtown Portland. No one in the world would consider it a hill except me, but every time I make it to the top w/o stopping I feel as though I've really accomplished something. However, since I didn't feel like running past Popeye's today, nor did I feel creative enough to make up a new route.... up the hill I went.
It was around 30 degrees this morning when we woke up, so I waited to go until Noonish when Lilah went down for her nap. Even though it was still around 40ish degrees it was still incredibly cold. I only wore some long long pants and a T-shirt thinking it would be enough, but I was still freezing for the first 1/2 mile or so. Like I couldn't help wondering if maybe I should wearing some gloves or a hat or something, but since I'm still a newbie to all this running stuff I really don't know any better. So.... if there's someone out there reading this who is more experienced, please let me know what gear I should we wearing for cold weather running!!
It was a really nice run in the crisp, cool air with the sun shining and it did a lot to improve my mood. I won't go into it, but I wasn't exactly in the best of moods before I left.
Well folks, I think that's all I got for tonight. Tomorrow is my Sunday 'walking' day, which I really will try to do for a change :)
The hill:
It was around 30 degrees this morning when we woke up, so I waited to go until Noonish when Lilah went down for her nap. Even though it was still around 40ish degrees it was still incredibly cold. I only wore some long long pants and a T-shirt thinking it would be enough, but I was still freezing for the first 1/2 mile or so. Like I couldn't help wondering if maybe I should wearing some gloves or a hat or something, but since I'm still a newbie to all this running stuff I really don't know any better. So.... if there's someone out there reading this who is more experienced, please let me know what gear I should we wearing for cold weather running!!
It was a really nice run in the crisp, cool air with the sun shining and it did a lot to improve my mood. I won't go into it, but I wasn't exactly in the best of moods before I left.
Well folks, I think that's all I got for tonight. Tomorrow is my Sunday 'walking' day, which I really will try to do for a change :)
The hill:
Friday, December 2, 2011
Week 3a, Day 5
Keeping it short and sweet today since it was a rest day. After Lilah kept us up for most of the night (not medical reasons, just normal Lilah wanting to play all night), I actually did try to take it easy for the whole morning. Then I threw the kids in the car and went to the zoo to meet up with a friend and his son. It was a perfectly sunny, crisply cool day and we ended up walking around for 3 hours. It was a nice rest day.
I guess tomorrow I'll be running 3 miles, so my goal for tonight will be not to drink too much wine :)
I guess tomorrow I'll be running 3 miles, so my goal for tonight will be not to drink too much wine :)
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Week 3a, Day 4 - Gettin' It Done on the Treadmill
Today I ran on a treadmill for the first time in a long time. I had forgotten how boring it is to run on a treadmill. You're running fast, but going nowhere. Instead of the wind on your face, you have recirculated gym air blown onto your face from the treadmill fan. Instead of pushing yourself to keep running until the next streetlight, you push yourself to make it for another 30 seconds.
When I was pregnant with Lilah, I took a "Natural Birthing Techniques" class and we were all given a cup with ice cubes and were told to stick our hand into it for 1 minute and deal with the pain in whatever way feels most natural. This was supposed to be a VERY basic introduction of pain coping techniques and the ice was supposed to 'simulate' a contraction. My 'natural' coping method has always been to stare up at a clock and count the seconds until it's over. I had always passed time this way when pumping gas, waiting for the copier, running to the bathroom, etc... when time needed to pass faster, I would count it. Then the instructor introduced several other methods of dealing with pain coping so by the end we had simulated about 10 different contractions using different methods such as massage, conversation, meditation, looking at pictures, story telling, smelling things, etc. What I found through this "Class" was this counting thing I've always done was actually the most ineffective way of passing the time and pain for me. It actually made the 'contraction' feel longer and more painful than any of the other methods introduced to us. Rather than going into all the possible underlying psychological ramifications of this discovery, we'll simply state this epiphany was a tremendous eye opener and ever since the class, I have tried not to count along with the microwave when I'm waiting for my lunch.
So what's the moral of the story? The moral is that I had forgotten how when you're trying to run on a treadmill there are no distractions from the digital red workout summary strip showing how long you've run, how fast you're running, how many calories you've burned and your distance..... and it's painful to stare at. Instead of being out on the road, feeling empowered with the knowledge you're watching the world go past by the sheer power of your own two feet to move it,... you're locked in a competition against the treadmill itself. Granted it DID make me want to run faster!! I was running 6-7 mph nearly the whole time and ran my 1.5 miles in 14:30 which I'm satisfied with. I was running really hard for me and had sweat dripping down my brow the whole time. Although right after I wrote the previous sentence, I was bummed out a little when I looked up the training calculator on Runner's World and it said at the pace I ran today it would still take me around 5 hours to finish the marathon.
I guess I need to return to what my original intentions are for this project and this blog. My intentions are to finish the marathon with no set time limit, injury free and to also enjoy the process overall even though I know there will be difficult parts and there will be times I want to quit. So that being said, for the next 27 weeks I'll be staying away from treadmills and anything else which will force me to count anything.
I mean seriously.... which would you prefer?
and on another note, when I sat down to write, I really thought I was going to write about the unfortunate choice of either falling off the treadmill or accidentally hitting the 'Emergency Off" button with your belly.... I guess my fingers have a mind of their own :)
When I was pregnant with Lilah, I took a "Natural Birthing Techniques" class and we were all given a cup with ice cubes and were told to stick our hand into it for 1 minute and deal with the pain in whatever way feels most natural. This was supposed to be a VERY basic introduction of pain coping techniques and the ice was supposed to 'simulate' a contraction. My 'natural' coping method has always been to stare up at a clock and count the seconds until it's over. I had always passed time this way when pumping gas, waiting for the copier, running to the bathroom, etc... when time needed to pass faster, I would count it. Then the instructor introduced several other methods of dealing with pain coping so by the end we had simulated about 10 different contractions using different methods such as massage, conversation, meditation, looking at pictures, story telling, smelling things, etc. What I found through this "Class" was this counting thing I've always done was actually the most ineffective way of passing the time and pain for me. It actually made the 'contraction' feel longer and more painful than any of the other methods introduced to us. Rather than going into all the possible underlying psychological ramifications of this discovery, we'll simply state this epiphany was a tremendous eye opener and ever since the class, I have tried not to count along with the microwave when I'm waiting for my lunch.
So what's the moral of the story? The moral is that I had forgotten how when you're trying to run on a treadmill there are no distractions from the digital red workout summary strip showing how long you've run, how fast you're running, how many calories you've burned and your distance..... and it's painful to stare at. Instead of being out on the road, feeling empowered with the knowledge you're watching the world go past by the sheer power of your own two feet to move it,... you're locked in a competition against the treadmill itself. Granted it DID make me want to run faster!! I was running 6-7 mph nearly the whole time and ran my 1.5 miles in 14:30 which I'm satisfied with. I was running really hard for me and had sweat dripping down my brow the whole time. Although right after I wrote the previous sentence, I was bummed out a little when I looked up the training calculator on Runner's World and it said at the pace I ran today it would still take me around 5 hours to finish the marathon.
I guess I need to return to what my original intentions are for this project and this blog. My intentions are to finish the marathon with no set time limit, injury free and to also enjoy the process overall even though I know there will be difficult parts and there will be times I want to quit. So that being said, for the next 27 weeks I'll be staying away from treadmills and anything else which will force me to count anything.
I mean seriously.... which would you prefer?
and on another note, when I sat down to write, I really thought I was going to write about the unfortunate choice of either falling off the treadmill or accidentally hitting the 'Emergency Off" button with your belly.... I guess my fingers have a mind of their own :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)